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Comments on The Wisdom of Doug Dykehouse
Carnifex HI!
Dave's not here You're Bizarre
Timothy C. Caton Dykehouse and Merkowsky
Doug Sofer, History Advising Mr. Dykehouse
Deb Schiff doug
sammie@ucinet.com teacher madness
Mona Grigg The Family Dykehouse
[Anonymous] [Blocked by Cyber Patrol?]


Thirteen Days of Form & Expression
Professor quotes from a class at Carson-Newman College provided by an alert reader.
A rose by any other name--Peewee! you guys are AWESOME!
Read my lips: Because I said so! Form & Expression: Day One
Read my lips: Because I said so! Day 2: What is Art?
Read my lips: Because I said so! Day 3: Drawing with Mr.Houston
Read my lips: Because I said so! Day 4: The Big Slideshow
So many pedestrians...so little time! Day 5: Architecture Day
So many pedestrians...so little time! Day 6: Olive comes to class!
So many pedestrians...so little time! Day 8: Woody comes to class!
So many pedestrians...so little time! Day 9: RASHOMON!
"We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" Day 10: Tajomaru, the Laughing Bandit!
"We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" Day 11: Point Day!
"We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" Day 12: Not much
"We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" Day 13: Hussung gets to talk!







Date: Fri, 02 Aug 1996 02:19:52 -0700
From: Carnifex <nightchill@wake-tech.campus.mci.net>
Subject: HI!


I just read your homepage on the wisdom of Doug Dykehouse, and I would like you
to know that it is the most humorous hour I've had all week.

Some of those lines are just classics.  I just can't understand how you went
through an entire class with him as a teacher.  In fact, mention it to him that
stand-up comedy might just have a future for him.  :)

Thanx for the laughs.

--Rob



Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 08:45:07 -0500 (EST) From: "Dave's not here" <Dave.Solko@UC.Edu> Subject: You're Bizarre ****** and friends, Your page <http://dykehouse.humpin.org/> is strange, strange enough to be considered tres bizarre. I have chosen your page to be the Thursday, 16 January featured site on "Tres Bizarre, the stranger side of the web". While this honour may not be much, it's the most I can do for someone who has made me smile, scratch my head, and say to myself, "there are some weird people out there." Besides, while the strange often get noticed, they rarely get rewarded. In case I've made you curious, the URL is: http://ucunix.san.uc.edu/~solkode/tres_bizar/ If you want, a thumbail is available to download or link to at: http://ucunix.san.uc.edu/~solkode/tres_bizar/images/tres_bizarre.gif Keep up the strange work. :-) -dave ,,, ---------D a v e S o l k o-----------513.556.5264-----ooo0-(. .)-0ooo----- http://www.cat.uc.edu/dave dave.solko@uc.edu (_)| Designer http://www.cat.uc.edu/dave/Frontier Frontier Archive | Consultant http://www.uc.edu/www/newsrecord/index.htmlx | Webmaster ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://ucunix.san.uc.edu/~solkode/tres_bizar/ The stranger side of the web --------------------------------------------------------ooo0---0ooo----------

Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 22:01:35 -0500 From: "Timothy C. Caton" <tc6080a@american.edu> Subject: Dykehouse and Merkowsky Mr. Dykehouse reminded me of Andy Merkowsky, a chemistry teacher I had at Central Catholic High School in Allentown, Pennsylvania. A few members of the class made up the following list of quotes. Enjoy. --------------------------------------------------------------- MERKOWSquotes "Donít give me the story; give me the formula!" "You could say that, but youíd be wrong." "What are we doing, trying to build a log cabin?" "Thatís great, but I wanted the right answer." "Weíve gotta be smarter than this!" "There should be more than two people who can tell me this." "What happened here?" (Looking at a bad quiz grade) "More people have got to know this." "Weíve got to smarten up a bit!" "If we had any coordination, we wouldnít have dropped that!" "Now, even if we only had half a brain, we couldíve gotten a 90 on that test." "If youíre sitting home on a Saturday night with nothing to do, that would be pretty fun; for now, letís do it the right way." "Now we just canít be sittiní around hoping!" "We can do better than this." "We need more help than this." "I want you to prove the beakers have been cooled off by sticking your tongue on the bottom." "These must be so clean that you wonít hesitate to drink water from them and donít think I wonít have you do it, either." "We could be having a quiz in here any time now." "Now this is a test of our spatial relations." "After all, when you get to college . . . ." --------------------------------------------------------------- --- Timothy C. Caton The American University, Washington, DC http://american.edu/~tc6080a

Date: Fri, 7 Feb 1997 11:10:10 -0600 From: "Doug Sofer, History Advising" <soferd@mail.utexas.edu> Subject: Mr. Dykehouse "There are certain skills we obtain, whether it be doing a scan, or grouping in MacDraw. You show that to an employer...You're employable." Yes. Employers are just BEGGING for job applicants who know how to GROUP. I enjoyed your page a lot. It brought back memories from my high school days. My guess is that this man (an insult to Dougs everywhere) needs one of two things: 1) Some serious medication or 2) LESS medication. My money's on the latter theory. I went to high school in New Jersey, and we had plenty of drunken, imbicilic teachers who were on the same kinds of power trips that Mr. Dykehouse is apparently on-- well maybe not EXACTLY the same as his: he seems to be a special case. There was one teacher I had who would spend the first half of every class telling jokes and getting the class all riled up, and the next half screaming at the top of his lungs telling the class to calm down and stop laughing. He once threatened to send me to the office if I missed the next day of class. I told him that I DARED him to send me there. He was so smashed (or just plain dumb) the next day that he didn't even remember my dare or his threat when I intentionally cut his class. The good news is that teachers like this do not end up screwing you up for life as you might guess. I was a D student in high school history classes, and now I'm in the Ph.D. program in history at the University of Texas (which is the best in the country in my particular field of history) and I have a 3.98 GPA. And, best of all, they're paying me to go to school. I hope you guys will get out of school intact and prove the same kind of thing to Mr. Dykehouse. Good luck, Doug Sofer

Date: Fri, 07 Feb 1997 16:07:47 -0800 From: "Deb Schiff" <debras@csnet.net> Subject: doug Hi! just stopped into the Wisdom of Doug site. nearly peed my pants. tried to keep the guffaws to a minimum since I sit in an office of cubicles. Just had to tell you how much I enjoyed the lunacy. brought me back to my high school days. thanx. your pal, deb

Date: Fri, 07 Feb 1997 19:44:04 -0800 From: sammie@ucinet.com Subject: teacher madness actually i kinda like the sounds of your teacher seems like he's keeping you on the edge of your seat thanks for sharing

Date: Mon, 08 Sep 1997 21:30:20 -0400 From: "Mona Grigg" <rgrigg@northernway.net> Subject: The Family Dykehouse You might not believe this, but in college (at the U of M), I was good friends with your professor's son Mike. Recently, he has dropped off the face of the earth, but I've heard rumors that he is back in Kalamazoo. It really doesn't surprise me that his dad is that fucked up and hilarious. Mike is one of the strangest, funniest people I've ever met in my life. He's also one of the most talented artists and musicians I've ever met. I don't just mean he's good...he's fucking brilliant, and I don't say that about too many people. Me and some of his other friends have been on a quest to find him for the last year, but no such luck. If you have any info, wing that shit over thissa way. Also, If his dad is as bad of a poker player and as much of a copious smoker of weed and drinker or Old Crow and Colt 45 (one of many traits me and Mike Dykehouse share), I suggest you get old Doug to join you in a slap-up game of Texas Hold 'Em. See ya on the flip flop.

Date: [Multiple] From: [Anonymous] Subject: [Blocked by Cyber Patrol?] Wow! This rivals the cyber shrine of the Plywood Elvis! You may want to know that your wisdom page cannot be read at the Tech Center; Code 1 on cyber patrol!
Editor's Note: We have checked the Cyber Patrol page and The Wisdom is not listed as a "CyberNOT" site. This means that somebody at the Tech Center had to set up this blocking themselves.




Date: Tue, 04 Feb 1997 19:59:23 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "A rose by any other name--Peewee!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: you guys are AWESOME! i keep the funny quotes from my professors too...it was cool to find out that other people do the same for their weird professors! dykehouse's metaphors are good, but he still doesn't beat the Metaphor King, dr. don garner, a religion professor here at carson-newman college. megan =) <Z>< luke 23:41-43

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:07:58 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "Read my lips: Because I said so!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Form & Expression: Day One January 9, 1997 =============== "I will speak SLOWly. You will listen CAREfully." --Hussung "Here come the paperclips!" --Hussung "I'm awake all the time--except when I'm at home, then I'm sleeping." --Houston "There's going to be a lot of 'make-it-up-as-we-go-along' kind of stuff." -- " "We're gonna do a lot of stuff where you won't get much warning." --Houston "You people are going to be in the top strata of the intelligentia of the population." --Houston "In your life, you are going to encounter a lot of art." --Houston "What do you do here?" --Houston, to Hussung Hussung [tapping on the piano]: "This. I do this." "I don't create much. I RE-create." --Hussung "I have been one of the [consistent] professors for this class. Everybody else has sort of passed on. [Class laughs] But not in that sense." --Houston "I'm not very musically inclined. I play the stereo rather than the piano." --Houston "If someone doesn't like your piano playing, then they're not going to put a dollar in the brandy glass!" --Houston Hussung [jumping on a chair]: "Can I get on a soapbox for a minute?" "Can I tell a family story? It's about my dad. His nickname was 'Killer Carl.' He gave lots of pop quizzes. So I won't hesitate to do the same." --Hussung "Here's what you have to do. You have to write these little papers. Then they will be scoured." --Houston "We are the skin that has kinda floated to the top of the population." --Houston "Let's face it--the whole world ain't Jefferson City." --Houston "[When I get together with this friend of mine], we talk about art. Because I paint and he reads." --Houston "Next time our topic will be: Art--and what it does for you." --Hussung

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:09:27 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "Read my lips: Because I said so!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 2: What is Art? January 14, 1997 ================ Hussung (referring to the fact that the room was looking pretty empty because a lot of people were late): "Goodness! They're dropping off like flies!" Houston: "Have some dropped?" Hussung: "I don't know." "Today we're talking about what is art. Thursday night you will have the opportunity to experience some art. Pianist Christopher Taylor will be HERE, in THIS building! [The concert] is free for you guys. We have to pay $5, and regular people have to pay $10." --Hussung "Thursday, in here, we are drawing with Mr. Houston!" --Hussung "I would really love to scream in this room, to feel the veins straining in my neck...but I won't." --Houston "Do you all know Wagner? When Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd do an opera and sing, 'Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit,' that's Wagner." --Hussung We were talking about whether cows are works of art and someone said, "Cows don't leave a lasting impression." Hussung replied, "That depends on where you are in relation to the cow." "A lot of crackpots out there... Can I tell you another little anecdote?" [Talked about the guy that painted by flying over a field covered with canvas and dropping paint on it.] "Some people liked it because of the spectacular gee-whiz special effects, but was that art?" --Houston "In the future we'll be able to listen to Hendrix by telepathy!" --Houston "I have a friend who will only eat six foods. They have some psychological problem... They will not eat anything green, or anything out of water, because it's unsanitary and smelly." --Houston "My retarded kid brother can do that. That's not art." --Houston "[Jackson Pollock paintings] are made with splatters. But they're very, very well-done splatters." --Houston

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:10:50 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "Read my lips: Because I said so!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 3: Drawing with Mr.Houston i didn't go to class this time, but someone else wrote down a few for me... --megan =) <Z>< January 16, 1997 ================ ***ALL QUOTES ARE HOUSTON*** "Dancing is not a visual art. You can see it, but it's not visual." "An elongated dot is really a line--it's not a dot anymore." "The really neat thing about a line is that it can be a line." "My uncle won a national competition in penmanship in 1931. He got a really big certificate for it. He hated ball-point pens." "Oh, yeah...Oh, it's happening...Oh, here we go...Oh, yeah...here we go...$500!" [Said while finishing a drawing.] "I draw better than at least 99% of you, but I won't put a cigarette out on your drawing." [his art teacher used to put a cigarette out on bad drawings]

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:13:36 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "So many pedestrians...so little time!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 4: The Big Slideshow January 21, 1997 ================ ***ALL QUOTES ARE HOUSTON UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED*** Hussung skipped some people in roll call, and Houston said, "Those are the people that got thrown out." Hussung added, "They will be purged from the list." Kiki raised her hand and asked how long the critiques had to be and Hussung said, "Good. That was my question, too!" then looked at Houston. Trying to explain why we have to help grade papers, "We have to do it this way so I can get on with my life." "You have to learn to be able to disagree with someone in a friendly, cordial way. We have a free speech thing in this country, so say what you want to say." "This is not a utopia..." --Jennie Talking about Chris Taylor, Margy said, "Why did he hunch over the piano so much? I kept thinking, 'Does he need glasses?'" Houston sagely replied, "People drive in different positions." "There's a famous pianist named Bill Evans who plays in a fetal position--he died a few years ago--he always kept his nose down on the keyboard, and he's real famous for that." "I like an erect posture." --Hussung "Sometimes they want you to pluck it with a fingernail. Sometimes they want you to pluck it with your finger, which gives a different sound. Sometimes they just want you to flick it." --Hussung, talking about piano strings "I'm not really a professor here. I've been here a while--so long that they don't even know *what* I am! My official title is 'Artist in Residence.'" Houston informed us that he was going to show us slides of some of his paintings. He said if we had anything else to say, we should say it now because, "Once we kill the lights, that's it." Right before the slideshow was about to begin, Gordana asked Hussung if he would move out of the way. Hussung leaned over more and said jokingly, "How's this?" Then he JUMPED ON A CHAIR and said, "How about now?" "I have this weird, psychological obsession with landscapes--I don't know *what* that is." "I've started to talk to psychiatrists and psychologists about why I do what I do, and I'll tell you a little bit about that." "[After I got lead poisoning from a certain kind of paint], I tried to clean my studio, but I couldn't get everything off the floor. So I just repainted it and sealed the debris under the paint." "I got mono when I was doing this one. How does a 40-year-old get mono? I couldn't figure it out!" "This one went for about $5,000--it was framed, had a nail, and everything!" "I edit out things. For instance, if there's some mobile home there or something, I'll just take that out completely." Hussung: "Mr. Houston, are your trees real?" Houston: "They are suggested by real trees... I've gotten to the point where I just make them up." Hussung [standing]: "I like trees. That's the thing--I LIKE TREES!" Houston: "Yeah, there's a very definite effort on my part to make a specific species." "[This painting] is kind of a North Carolina extreme, kind of a Cocke County thing." "I got married. That didn't work out. That was a bad idea." "If I paint something right after I see it, then it usually works out. But if I wait a month, then I can't remember, and I get confused, and it just becomes a big mess." "The way I basically produce these is that I don't sleep much!" "I've become very very fascinated with matter...and it kind of struck me one day that our brains are made out of the same chemicals that everything else is made out of. It's the only place in the universe I know of that is self-aware... So these [landscape] paintings are subconscious self-portraits." Sasha: "Yeah, your tree there kinda looks like a brain." "This one's in the First American Bank building's board room. It won a big award. It's the first watercolor I did with a celestial object in it." "I started getting the idea that my paintings weren't big enough." [they had only been five or six feet long, which of course is WAY too small...] "There's the sun there--that little dot there. It's dusty. These things [film slides] are hard to clean, what with static electricity and everything." Hussung: "Is that mistletoe in the trees?" Houston: "It is. In fact, it is!" "I had a real problem with the color green. I just never can decipher GREEN. I've had terrible problems trying to deal with green." "This is near the Hamblen County-Cocke County area. There was a pig farm there...I left out the pigs." "That one has stars in it. That's Jupiter over here, and Mars--oh, excuse me-- VENUS over there, and there's Mars. Yeah, Venus and Mars." "This one has stars, too. The stars were made with a scalpel." "I'll answer any questions. I don't have any secrets." "They're for sale if you want one. There *is* a student discount..."

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:14:24 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "So many pedestrians...so little time!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 5: Architecture Day not many funny quotes that day (it was mostly serious stuff)...but not to worry, there was still SOME entertainment to be had! --megan =) <Z>< January 23, 1997 ================ ***ALL QUOTES ARE HOUSTON UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED*** Houston: "Today we're going to drink coffee and listen to Sinatra music." Jennie: "Are we really?" Houston: "No." Jennie: "Do you just make stuff up as you go along?" Houston: "Yeah, most of it." "Sarah, see me after class so you can tell me you're here." --Hussung "The state of Tennessee is real persnickety about that." [using this class as credit for teacher ed. art appreciation requirement] "Does the paper flow in an organic, pleasant sort of way?" --Hussung "Let me make sure I have a piece of chalk. If I even *touch* this thing [the chalk tray], it goes 'wacky-wacky-wack.'" "We're going to kill the lights again and look at some architecture." Talking about the Greek Temple of Poseidon, "If you put a steeple on this thing, you'd have First Baptist Church."

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:16:35 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "So many pedestrians...so little time!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 6: Olive comes to class! today we were granted the honor of a visit from dr. olive (aka "the little green man"), one of our esteemed philosophy professors... January 28, 1997 ================ "This is a one, two, three, four...FIVE step process." --Hussung "And if you're not clear with that, you can tell me when you come up here and I will...um...say something." --Hussung "I have an apology to make...I will not be able to dress up for class anymore." --Houston "I feel like I'm back among friends. That remains to be seen, of course." --Olive "[Van Gogh's _Sunflower_] reaches out from the canvas and grabs you, and shakes you, and says, 'Pay attention to ME!'" --Olive (that's kinda scary...) "Can you imagine calling your mother by some other term than 'mother'?" --Olive "We don't like the way 'MOM' looks. It's too scratchy--it has too many angles. Let's change it to 'OOA.'" --Olive "How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is a fish!" --Houston "You put up cute little pictures of Noah and the ark in your nursery rooms, but in reality, there were dead bloated bodies floating all over the surface of the earth!" --Olive "We need a V-chip for the Bible." --Olive "[Emotion] is like snot. You blow and blow your nose, but it just keeps coming! It's like diarrhea. You eat something and then it squirts out the other end." --Olive

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:23:37 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "So many pedestrians...so little time!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 8: Woody comes to class! today we were privileged to have dr. wood, an english professor here, lecture on the film _tender mercies_. February 4, 1997 ================ ***ALL QUOTES ARE DR. WOOD UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED*** "Been a change in plans. Instead of discussing the film, we're going to listen to James Brown records. _Super Bad_ Parts I & II, _Sex Machine_, [and all the other albums]." --Houston, immediately after entering the room "See me after class if you have an ideological or theological problem with this quiz." --Hussung "If you really didn't like the film, then I need to go back and tell you why you SHOULD'VE liked it." "[William Anderson] is a jerk because he won't give me an interview." "Ellen Barkin was in this while she still had clothes on. And Wilford Brimley, before he became the Quaker Oats man." "Where Horton Foote lives...has a lot of water and scruffy land." "Waxahachie [TX] is now on the 'film map.'" "[Bruce Barrisford] talked about Australian Impressionist Painting, which I'm not really sure about but I want to study... Carson-Newman can fly me to Australia!" [dream on...] "You know how much I like cotton fields." --Horton Foote Woody asked Robert Duvall why he had his character throw a stone in a garden scene in _Tender Mercies_. Duvall said, "Because he was working in a garden, and I figured that's what he'd do." Woody asked Horton why that scene was in a garden, and Horton said, "Because we had another scene in a garden, so we thought we'd do it again." Woody tried to get in touch with Ellen Barkin "just to see if she really was as much of a bitch as everyone says she was." "This is not playhouse. This is college." "You feel like a whore when you go to the movies." "What the hell...let the guy [Steven Speilberg] make the fish picture." --John Steinberg of Universal Studios, thinking that _Jaws_ would help use up some extra money "The first ten times I watched the movie I cried [at the garden scene]. Then I finally got it." "I love you. I've changed my life. Thank you."

Date: Thu, 06 Feb 1997 23:25:06 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "So many pedestrians...so little time!" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 9: RASHOMON! hello friends and classmates. let me just say that i think this movie is happy. fights, killing, a crazy maniac who does nothing but laugh...how good could it get? =) there weren't that many quotes today--just a few from houston and a few from the movie. coming attraction: brentley has decided to start keeping track of how many times houston says "incredible" and "very very." i'll send daily tallies with the quotes... oh, and i would appreciate it if none of you would mention any of this to our esteemed professors, because they might become self-conscious and stop the funny quotes, and THEN what would i do in class? =) besides, they will be receiving the complete list at the end of the semester... okay, on with the quotes! megan =) <Z>< February 6, 1997 ================ QUOTES FROM HOUSTON: "I don't know how to start [the movie]. I guess you just push play...?" Upon fixing the tracking, "Hot DOG!" "[_Rashomon_] kind of reminded me of the O.J. Simpson trial." "We ain't seen nothing yet...it kinda continues to go." "We don't really know what's real...we don't know anything yet." [speak for yourself!] "This [forest] is the equivalent of a Japanese Smoky Mountain National Park!" "In Hollywood, the bad people would go to jail & the good people would go off & get married & have a wonderful life and...um...get a reward...or something." "Who is the bad people?" "At the end of the film something very very surprising happens: there's a moral lesson." QUOTES FROM _RASHOMON_: "I'm glad we have a priest--he even LOOKS smart!" "Don't look at me like that. BEAT ME!" "Well, men are only men. That's why they lie."

Date: Sun, 16 Feb 1997 03:03:48 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 10: Tajomaru, the Laughing Bandit! we finished the happy movie...now we have to go back to boring old class! =( daily tally ----------- "very very"--6 "incredible"--5 (it will be much more when there's not a movie taking up time!) February 11, 1997 ================= "Oh, you weren't HERE the other day. It's on my roll, as a matter of fact. It all makes sense to me now!" --Hussung "Natalie needs to get healthy, and the rest of you need to get quiet." --Hussung "People should start listening to me--I wear a tie and everything!" --Hussung "There's TWO responsible people here! SHE'S responsible and SHE'S responsible [pointing]. It's amazing! We should give them a job or something!" --Houston "I saw [_Trip to Bountiful_] not in an 'artsy' mood, but just in a 'I'm-on-a-date-with-a-great-woman' kind of mood." --Hussung "I completely re-worked [a painting] that was three years old. The ex-wife has it now, but that's okay!" --Houston "Seen that guy before--last time he had a baby!" --Houston "[_Seven Samurai_] makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up!" --Houston ***QUOTES FROM _RASHOMON_*** "All men are selfish and dishonest!" "I regret the loss of my horse more than the loss of her!" "It isn't as if men were REASONABLE!"

Date: Sun, 16 Feb 1997 03:06:43 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 11: Point Day! well, LOTS of people got participation points today! =) so the professors didn't get to say much of anything funny--it was mostly serious talk about _citizen kane_. February 13, 1997 ================= Houston, to Hussung: "Have you seen the spoof of _Citizen Kane_ on _Saturday Night Live_?" Hussung: "No, I don't watch much Saturday night television." Houston: "How old are you?" Hussung: "Thirty-two." Houston: "Oh." New word (by Houston): "Illusionarily." "You're on the back row and all that. I can see how a 'profession' might become a 'confession.'" --Houston Kiki asked why _Citizen Kane_ was such a classic. The professors took deep breaths, then Houston said, "We could spend an hour on that." Kiki said, "Try to do it in five minutes." They looked at each other like it was an impossible task, until finally Hussung looked at Houston and asked, "Can I try?" Houston said, "Sure." (because deep down he knew there was no way HE could say anything in five minutes!) "[_Citizen Kane_] seemed very much of a 'gee-whiz' nature [to the people of the 1940s]." --Houston "Let's talk about favorite scenes... Can we do this? No, we don't have time." --Hussung the tally --------- incredible/incredibly: 4 very very: 15 (even said "very very very" once!)

Date: Tue, 18 Feb 1997 12:35:56 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 12: Not much not many funny quotes today...houston mostly talky about _rashomon_. oh, well! "It's early. What can I do? I can pass out papers!" --Hussung "And quit smokin' those filthy cigarettes!" --Houston, pointing and YELLING at Best Yes, immediately upon entering the room "There's a joke in the art department: What did you do this weekend? I went to a Marjoe Gortner film fest!" [haha--very funny joke] Hussung: "Somebody grab a piece of paper [for a sign-up sheet]." Houston: "I'll do it!" Hussung: "Good, Mr. Houston--you get class participation points!" "Papers are due Thursday. You only need one copy of it, and you can write your name on it with glee!" --Hussung Houston: "Did you guys not see the sign I put up?" Hussung: "I tore it down." ***A couple of quotes from _Marjoe_ (who, btw, is going to BURN)*** "It's a bloody, gory religion we got going down here..." "Bend that leg in Jesus' name!" the tally --------- very very--12 incredibly, i didn't hear him say "incredible" at all!

Date: Thu, 20 Feb 1997 13:46:26 EST5EDT4,M4.1.0,M10.5.0 From: "We have a sane blik about dons. --R.M. Hare" <mccosby@cncacc.cn.edu> Subject: Day 13: Hussung gets to talk! February 20, 1997 ================= ***ALL QUOTES ARE HOUSTON UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED*** "Many documentary films are deliberately done to upset you." "[The U.S. government] tried to show that if an atomic bomb was dropped, you could go into your fallout shelter, eat a couple cans of beans, and be okay. When really, you know, it was the end of the world." "There was a cartoon where the kids hid under their desks during the bomb, and, of course, they were okay..." "Some of them [documentaries] are about social change, social justice...and some are just about the demise of the grizzly bear." "Most documentary films are towards a liberal slant, except for Linny Riefenstahl's, which was toward Nazis." "You gotta listen to National Public Radio. If you're just listening to sell-Nike-shoes radio stations, you're missing the boat. You can get like a college degree by listening to National Public Radio!" "From what I've seen on NPR..." [you don't SEE anything on the radio, houston] "Listen to NPR. It's fantastic. Also great music. No commercials. Well, we kinda got off the subject here... NPR's great." Hussung, clapping his hands [when Houston finished his spiel on NPR]: "Well. Let's talk about theater. Okay!" "Yeah. It's visual in nature. Yeah. You watch it." --Hussung "The leading lady [in a play] is often drunk." Also said something to the effect that the director has to use a voodoo doll whenever an understudy goes on stage...i didn't get the full quote, but i thought the concept was funny enough to deserve mention here. "[Watching a piano recital] is more of a linear experience. Whereas looking at a painting is more of a spherical exspherience--EXSPHERIENCE? No, EXPERIENCE." "Memory is a big deal." --Hussung Hussung: "If you have a 40-foot head delivering a line to you--" Houston: "--or like in _Citizen Kane_ with the giant lips that say, 'ROSEBUD.' It's somebody's lips all over the screen!" "I have a real problem personally with filmed musicals. They take place in real places...then the actors just break into song!" New word, by Hussung: "Envolved" "[In theater], they can play with you and get you to do things..." --Hussung "Never play with animals or babies when you're on stage." --W.C. Fields the tally --------- very very: 5 incredible/y: 3






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